Controlling and Coercive Behaviour? Spot the signs and get help

We’re all familiar with domestic violence and physical or verbal abuse but controlling and coercive behaviour can be more difficult to spot.

It often begins quite subtly and can seem like someone genuinely cares for you but all too often it can turn to a situation where a victim has no control over their own lives and may begin living in fear of someone with nowhere to turn.

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There are signs to spot and things that can be done to both give help and get help.

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Here’s some signs to look out for:

isolating you from your friends and family
controlling how much money you have and how you spend it
repeatedly putting you down, calling you names or telling you that you are worthless
monitoring your activities and your movements
threatening to harm or kill you or your child
threatening to publish information about you or to report you to the police or the authorities
damaging your property or household goods
forcing you to take part in criminal activity or child abuse
isolating you from sources of support

It also includes behaviour such as female genital mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage.

There is help available and anyone in need of support or worried about someone who might needs support can contact LiveFearFree Wales on 0808 80 10 800, visit their website at https://gov.wales/live-fear-free to text or live chat for support. The LiveFear Free website is enabled with “safe exit” links for anyone who fears their browsing history is being checked or need to exit the screen quickly.

It’s also a criminal offence if:

The perpetrator repeatedlyor continuously engages in behaviour towards the victim that is controlling or coercive; and
At the time of the behaviour, the perpetrator and the victim are personally connected; and
The behaviour has a serious effect on the victim; and
The perpetrator knows or ought to know that the behaviour will have a serious effect on the victim.

Here’s a poem written by Kerry Mellor who has also made a video for us which we’ll bring to you soon.

Kerry experienced a coercive relationship for several years but bravely found the strength to leave her relationship, seek help and is rebuilding her life with her children.